"Artemus Ward" Quotes from Famous Books
 ... hounds. He kept open house, and loved to divert his guests with stories, not in the braggart vein of Dugald Dalgetty, but so embellished with palpably extravagant lies as to crack with a humour that was all their own. The manner has been appropriated by Artemus Ward and Mark Twain, but it was invented by Munchausen. Now the stories mainly relate to sporting adventures, and it has been asserted by one contemporary of the baron that Munchausen contracted the habit ...
— The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen • Rudolph Erich Raspe
... believe," is the language of Science. "I believe," is the language of credulity—with all the ways back to cause too hazy for the perception of even the assuring guide-boards. Said that prince of American humorists, Artemus Ward, "I have known a man who drank one drink of whiskey every day, and yet lived to be one hundred years old; but do not believe, therefore, that by taking two drinks a day you will live to be two hundred years old." "I have known a man who had not a single tooth, and yet he could ...
— The No Breakfast Plan and the Fasting-Cure • Edward Hooker Dewey
... Church, he wrote; "I shall wear no clothes, to distinguish me from my fellow-Christians." Need I say that all the picture-shops of the University promptly displayed a fancy portrait of the newly fledged minister clad in what Artemus Ward called "the scandalous style of the Greek slave," and bearing the unkind inscription—"The Rev. X.Y.Z. distinguishing himself from his fellow-Christians"? If a comma too much brought ruin into Mr. Z.'s allocution, a comma too little was the undoing of ...
— Collections and Recollections • George William Erskine Russell
... When Artemus Ward passed through California on a literary tour in 1864, Mark Twain regaled him—as he regaled all worthy acquaintances—with his favourite story, 'The Jumping Frog'. ...
— Mark Twain • Archibald Henderson
... prefixed to his Address to the People on the death of the Princess Charlotte. It was taken, as they should have known, from one of the finest passages of the "Rights of Man." Critics, it is well known, sometimes write as Artemus Ward proposed to lecture on science, "with an imagination untrammeled by the ...
— Arrows of Freethought • George W. Foote
... humorist and satirist, known by the pseudonym of "Artemus Ward," born in Maine, U.S.; his first literary effort was as "showman" to an imaginary travelling menagerie; travelled over America lecturing, carrying with him a whimsical panorama as affording texts for his numerous jokes, which he brought with him to London, and exhibited ...
— The Nuttall Encyclopaedia - Being a Concise and Comprehensive Dictionary of General Knowledge • Edited by Rev. James Wood
... for obvious reasons, if for no others, like Artemus Ward's destitute inebriate. Did you think only of us in deciding whether you ...
— The Lady of the Aroostook • W. D. Howells
... holsters, rode General George L. Bashman, of the Baxter forces. Reining up his steed he said, not unkindly: "Judge Gibbs, I am instructed to order you to leave the lines immediately, or subject yourself to arrest." As formerly intimated, and not unlike Artemus Ward, I was willing that all my wife's relatives might participate in the glories and mishaps of war. Hence I bowed a submissive acquiescence and returned. I appreciated the amity expressed in the manner and delivery of the order—an amity of which I have been the recipient from my political opponents ...
— Shadow and Light - An Autobiography with Reminiscences of the Last and Present Century • Mifflin Wistar Gibbs |
